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.: 11.26.2008 


One of the evils of Facebook is that it assumes you want to be friends with everyone that your friends are friends with.

Apparently Joe is on Facebook, and apparently one of my old college friends is friends with Joe. (By "friends" here I mean "have friended each other on Facebook" - I make no speculations to the closeness or depth of affection they have for each other.) This makes sense; they were both in the theatre department. But, like several people from my past, I really don't want to deal with Joe, in FB or RL or at all, so when the software occasionally reminds me that he's a person I might know, I click the small X to make him disappear.

Would only that it were always that easy.

Last night I had another dream about him, the most unsettling one yet. There was no panic, no vitriol, no anger. There was only us in that same glow there was on the first date, before we realized how crazy each other was and how this was such a bad idea. Worst of all, I was so wrapped up in the dream that my usually fairly-lucid self didn't step in and make it all stop.

So yeah, I feel guilty about having a mushy, lovey-dovey dream about an ex, and I feel disappointed in myself for my subconscious forgiving him to the point of forgetting what happened, and I feel a little nostalgically bereaved for a relationship that, at the time, was best I'd had (lets you know how low the bar had been set) and that I had as much of a hand in destroying as he did.

I guess I'm not really over the whole DNA thing after all. If I could cut it out of me to guarantee there would be no more dreams of him, I would.

Or maybe it means I'm finally over dwelling on the bad and can fondly remember the good.

Or maybe it means I should just spend less time on Facebook.

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