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.: 11.01.2012 

Forget Christmas

Halloween just isn't the same without you, Dad.

I saw my very first horror movie at the tiny theater on Camp Stanley (near Uijongbu, South Korea). My dad took me; my mom never liked horror flicks.  We saw The Gate, and I got in at the kid's rate even though I was 13. Being short and having such a round face, I've always looked a lot younger than I am. I remember being offended that I wasn't recognized as a proper teenager, but dad and I both felt like we were getting away with something big by saving two or three dollars.

The movie was probably terrible, I really don't remember, and after my experience of viewing The Monster Squad as an adult, I'm not terribly keen on going back and seeing how The Gate has held up over the years. But I was hooked. And ever since that night in 1987, horror flicks were our thing.

My dad and I fought a lot. It's because we were so much alike. I didn't really understand that until I was in my late twenties. At one point we stopped speaking to each other for about three years. Then he called me, it must have been my birthday or Christmas or something, and he said, "I don't remember what we were fight about. Truce?" I said, "As long as I don't have to apologise or admit any wrongdoing." He laughed and said, "Ok, but neither do I." And we picked right back up where we left off, two peas in a pod.

After that fight, the one that left us so determined to be the person who ignored the other the hardest for three years, horror flicks and Halloween melded together. I wanted to escape the trick-or-treaters, so I (and usually my husband at the time) would pack off to Dad's house for 12-14 hour horror movie marathons.  One year we watched every single movie in the Halloween franchise in a row.

I love my dad, and I miss him so much. It's getting easier, especially once I got over that one-year mark. But it's never going to be better. It's never going to be the same. And I'm always going to have the nagging worry in the back of my head that maybe he didn't know how much I loved him.

So please go tell your people that you love them. Tell them loudly and often. Tell them even when you're fighting with them; maybe especially when you're fighting with them.

Blessed Samhain, everyone.

thus proclaimeth the Zabet  1:33 PM  

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